May 28, 2004 – This is My Country, You Can’t Have It!

After much soul-searching, and just a little bit of righteous indignation about the state of the world we live in, I can honestly say this – I am really pissed off, and I am pretty sure the same can be said for most you.  If I had to whittle down all of the reasons for my anger into a single sentence it would be this:  For the first time in my life, there are times when I am ashamed to be an American.  When did this epiphany hit me?  Well, believe it or not, I was struck with this revelation while I was watching the finale of American Idol.  Before you start laughing, think about it - what else am I going to do when I am fighting a migraine and having to pack my bags in a hotel room in Little Rock, Arkansas.  Anyway, I was curious whether the phone-crazed, text-messaging maniacs were stupid enough to vote for Diana over Fantasia.  Was anyone else relieved that the more talented person actually won the contest?  To me, it reaffirmed something, what, I am not quite sure, but something. 

So, you may ask, how did American Idol help move my mood from despair to anger – it was simple.  Some former American Idol “also ran” was singing the national anthem during the show.  And as she sang, I listed, I thought, and then I cried.  And then I began almost chanting, to nobody in particular – “This is my country, you can’t have it.  This is my country, you can’t have it.  This is my country, you can’t have it.”  My reaction was triggered by the various images that flashed through my mind as she sang:  the increasing divide between the rich and the poor; the growth in corporate welfare as we cut social services to those who can least afford to help themselves; the men and women dying in Iraq for an unnecessary war so that we can force freedom down the throats of people who did not ask for our help; the hypocrisy of those who claim to be Christians, Jews or Muslims, who kill to prove their point and in the name of their view of God; the fact that those who are placing our men and women at risk have themselves never felt the need to place themselves in harm’s way to defend this country.   As these thoughts went through my head, I got angry, then pissed, and then I decided to rant.

I am not naïve enough to believe that there has ever been a playing field in this country between the it rich and poor, the haves and have-nots; but the inequalities of our system of government has usually been tempered by certain factors:  quality public education available to all, unions protecting the interests of the working poor, religious tolerance, and a viable middle class.  Now, our public school system is in shambles, unions have become a pariah because of their inability to adapt to changing social and economic realities, religion becoming more integrated into our public life and government, and the ever-diminishing ranks of our middle class.  If I was paranoid, I could almost imagine our present plight as part of a grand scheme to create a permanent lower class, while cementing the status of the powerful and wealthy.  Hmmm, maybe I am not so paranoid, because how else can you explain many of the Bush Administration’s tax, economic and social policies.  These thoughts make me angry.

In fact, just envisioning the pasty faces of our President, Attorney General,  Vice-President, Secretary of Defense, and all those other privileged, wealthy usually white men (and perhaps a few women) who are now using the their power and influence to reshape my country into something grotesque based upon their own flawed images and morality gets me angry.   It is often said that the President occupies the bully pulpit – a prized spot to advocate and advance his or her own agenda.  To me, this Administration is all bully and no pulpit:  using its power indiscriminately to further its members’ own personal agendas and goals at the expense of the greater good, while cloaking themselves in patriotism and God so that anyone who challenges them can be labeled “un-American” or an “evil-doer.”  

The United States has always been a country of extremes: wealth, poverty, education, cars, sports you name it, we have it all over the board.  Subtly has never been part of our political or social makeup.   Perhaps that is why the French hate us so much, because to a great extent, we are uncouth by design.  We have been called a nation of “doers.”  We are a results-drive nation that focuses on the big picture, not particularly interested in all of the nuances life has to offer.    We are a nation that at its best, invents and creates, explores and exposes, we are a nation that is built on the premise that opportunity can knock on any of our doors, if we work hard enough.  We are also a nation that at its worst, exploits and destroys, divides and degrades, a nation that finds excuses and easy ways out for embarrassing or difficult circumstances that are often of its own making.  America is, to a great extent, just one big amalgamation of mankind, both the best and the worst of what we all have to offer.   In the past, the melding of all of these characteristics is what has made us great, because our best characteristics usually trump the weaker ones.  But, now, I am not so sure this will continue to be so.

I have never been politically extreme in my thinking – I am pretty much a left-leaning moderate.  But, watching the machinations of our current leadership, I can see how extremists are made.  These men make me very, very angry.  There are too many issues to cite, to many fingers to point, too many acts to condemn for me to articulate every source of my anger.  But, I can sum it up in one simple thought:  their actions, judgments and justifications for what they do and how they do things often make a part of me ashamed to be an America.  They make me wonder whether are our best days behind us, and whether we are now a nation made up of only opportunists and exploiters.  These men have made me doubt not only the fundamental core of my nation, but also whether we have a future that is worthy of our past.  These men pale in comparison to those who have sacrificed so much to protect and defend this great nation.

Our schools, our roads, our children, our elderly, our environment  . . . all have been abandoned in favor of creating a world that matches their distorted image of America: a country with a divine obligation to impose, by force if necessary, freedom and democracy on the world.  This Administration apparently believes that we have a messianic obligation to liberate those who are not free (especially if they live in an oil-rich country).  While our government, through the CIA and other institutions, has been involved in covert (and sometimes overt) activities to undermine the political leadership of another country, we have never used the full force our military power to convert an unwilling party to the truth as we see it.  At what point did the idea of freedom become something we had to impose on someone?  This is a country that was built on the concept of freedom of speech and religion, on the open exchange of ideas, on the right to challenge authority and as long as you do so peacefully, the right to protest the policies and practices of those in power. 

At times I have heard people say about America, “I like Americans, I just do not like their government.”  That makes two of us.  Now, I fear, people will just say “I hate Americans.”  And the sad part is I cannot blame them.   To a great extent, I hate what this country is becoming.  We are the land of opportunity, now intent on strangling opportunity for those who need it most. We are a nation built on free speech and religious freedoms that is systematically squelching and deterring free speech and religious tolerance both at home and abroad.  We are a nation that claims democracy as its foundation, but is quickly turning into an economic and political monarchy.   We are a nation where those asking others to sacrifice the most in the name of their grotesque vision, are unwilling to sacrifice themselves.  We are a nation that has lost its core, its identity, its very reason for being.  For all these reasons, I cried the last time I heard the Star Spangled Banner.  Unfortunately, I do not think it will be the last time I do so.  Come Memorial Day, take a minute and think about what America is really about, and the sacrifices made by over a million Americans to protect and defend our freedoms.  When you hear “Oh say can you see,” remember this is your country, and they can only take it from you if you let them.   So, next time you see me, don't be surprised if I am  ranting, raving, pounding my shoe on the table and shouting to anyone who will listen, “this is my country, you can’t have it.”