June 25, 2004:  Deborah’s “State of My Rants” Address

Well, I have been at this ranting business for a little over a year now.  I figured it is time to reflect, assess, and see how things have gone.   Mayors give a state of the city address, Governors give a state of the State Address, and Presidents Give a State of the Union Addresses.  So, I figured it is high time I give my first “State of My Rants” Address.   And, if you are not inclined to participate in this bit of self-indulgent self-assessment, I have a great link to a scathing attack on John Ashcroft, that outlines his failings and abuse as Attorney General, and also demands his resignation: A Declaration Calling for the Resignation or Removal of John Ashcroft.  Alternatively, if you want to hear how over 500 law professors have asked the Congress to investigate the Bush Administrations’ violation of International Law and human rights in its pursuit of the war on terror,  then this link is for you  Iraq Letter.   If, however, you have any desire to hear the State of My Rants Address, then by all means, read on.  

And as I intended, every week or two, I post something new on this site that reflects what is currently swirling around in that swamp of opinions also known as my head.  Often it is political, sometimes it is comical (at least hopefully), one or two have been wistful or sarcastic, and at least one may have even been sweet.  In the process of posting these rants I have learned a much about myself and about those who read and respond to my various commentaries on life, liberty and the pursuit of occasional sappiness.  Sometimes what I write surprises even me, because I am surprised at what I actually articulate, thinking that I am more tolerant than that, more open-minded than that, or not that cynical.   And, while I often wear my opinions on my sleeve, and occasionally miss the typos in my text, I have been very flattered by some of the feedback received from those who take the time to read my rants.  I have also, on occasion, been criticized for my views, and challenged to re-examine the motives and reasoning behind my commentary, which is, I think, a good thing.  Lord knows, I am not always right, and I can be a tad bit judgmental.  And, I would hazard to guess that there are some rants that I might not entirely agree with a few months after they are written.  It is always good to get someone else’ perspective on an issue, especially those who might disagree with you:  that is the only way to truly examine your own motives.

Sometimes it is hard to think of what exactly I want to rant about because there are so many things pissing me off at any given time that I am almost frozen to inaction.  Nevertheless, my fingers find a way to articulate and make sense of what I am thinking, and somehow type their way through to a usually coherent thought.  Some days, I am not sure I have even conveyed how deeply certain things affect me – and then I find that despite my doubts, the message and meaning have in fact gotten through.  And some days, like today, I just marvel at the fact that I live in a country where I can post my musings.  Then I think of how many people fought and died for the rights and liberties so many of us take for granted.  I rant, to a great extent, because I truly love my country and feel it is my obligation to participate somehow in the dialogue that is necessary for democracy to work.   I rant because I care enough to want better for us all, and out of a sense of obligation to those who have worked so hard to give me this right.  Democracy is kind of like one big homecoming dance.  If you want any say in the music, the decorations, the theme, then you damn well volunteer for the committee. 

Have my rants changed anyone’s mind.  I really do not know, but I doubt it.  Often times, ranting here is like preaching to the choir.  Many of the folks who visit this site hold views similar to mine, but not everyone does.  Some folks I have never met have been asked to be included on my distribution list, and sometimes I receive emails from friends and colleagues who I know hold vastly different political, religious, cultural or economic views, agreeing with the sentiments of a particular rant.  So, if nothing else, my rantings have confirmed something that I think we all are too willing to forget:  there is much that binds us together as people if we just look for it.  While we can celebrate our differences, we should not let them blind us to the fact that community is also something to celebrate.  Indeed, these rants have reaffirmed my belief that regardless of how much value you place on the individual, you must also be willing to look to your community to find a not just a sense of me, but a sense of we. 

If asked what is the biggest weakness of my rants, other than not having another set of eyes to proof-read them before they are posted, I would say it is the fact that most of the feedback I receive is personal, and not on the open forum section of the site.   You should see some of the comments I receive.  Most are positive, some are critical, and some are just bits of encouragement.  Usually I keep these comments to myself because I do not want to place then on the site without the author’s consent:  who knows whether they ever intended the thoughts to be public.  Another weakness is possibly my fixation on the Bush Administration:  it may be getting a little tiresome to those who are not Michael Moore fans, but then again, they make it so damn easy, and after all, these are my opinions, and I am entitled to them.  As for Michael Moore, he is a bit too far to the left for my tastes, for what it is worth.  

Perhaps the most interesting reaction to the rants has come from my mom.  Parents are funny creatures, and sometimes have visions of their children that are nothing more than echoes of childhood memories.  Children, for their part, often do not do much to dispel these visions.  Long story short, I used to have a terrible time with writing and reading comprehension.  My mom spent hours upon hours with me when I was young working on my basic English skills.  I was a shy, overweight kid with a speech impediment who was one of those oft-described “late bloomers.”  So, even though I am now successful corporate lawyer, and published in my law school’s law review, my mom was surprised, almost shocked, that I could articulate my opinions in the manner I have.  It is kind of nice to see that even at 40 I can still surprise those who supposedly know me best. 

So, as I analyze the State of Deborah’s Rants, I must say that the state seems sound, though always with room for improvement.  That life is a continual process of learning and changing, and that these rants have provided me with a window not only into my opinions, but into those of both friends and strangers.  I guess I will continue this experiment in the first amendment a bit longer, because I have found that it not only has provided me with a forum for expressing my opinions, but has also strengthened my respect for the country and institutions that permits me to express them.  Like I said, Democracy is kind of like one big homecoming dance:  while I may never be crowned homecoming queen, I do want a say in what music is played.