October 17, 2003:  Darwin Was Wrong - We are Not Evolving.

OK, let us all admit it -  Darwin was wrong:  we are no longer evolving as a species.  I have decided that the human race is regressing to a level that can best be called the "What Are Going To Do For Me Race."  The entitlement mentality that is now pervasive in our society has effectively crippled a vast majority of our citizens into passive acceptance of lowered expectations and unrealized potential. What set me off on this rant was something that happened to me earlier this week, which I believe demonstrates what is so very wrong with the way many of us think and feel.

I am a recently elected board member of the Condo Association for the building where I live.  For some unknown reason, I have voluntarily taken on the chore of being responsible for building maintenance in our 97 unit complex, and I have already spent a substantial amount of my spare time resolving and addressing various maintenance issues.  Despite the fact I live in a condominium complex, I have found that a large portion of our owners think that they are not responsible for what goes on in their unit:  instead, they think, incorrectly, that it is the Condo Association responsibility to do everything from fix their cable box to dispose of used mattresses.  The lack of personal responsibility shown by many owners in our complex is both disgusting and breathtaking. 

Earlier this week, I, along with the other 4 Board Members (3 of which also just joined) received an obnoxious letter from a unit owner, the gist of which stated "you are not doing your job as a board member, you are incompetent, you are demonstrating bad faith, and, if you don't do what I want you to do, I am going to sue you."  The letter also threw in some erroneous legal assertions and other nonsense.  The lady sending the letter had a maintenance issue that was not resolved by the former Board.   Well, on its face, that is a pretty good reason to be demanding and obnoxious.  But, further examination reveals otherwise.  First, had this woman had the courtesy to call any of the board members or the management company before she sent of her written assault, she would have known that we had already addressed the matter and scheduled the repairs (all within about one month of our first meeting).  Moreover, this same woman was a member of the former board, and in a position to get the matter resolved if she had cared to do anything about it herself. In fact, she had over nine months to take care of this problem.  Did she do anything to resolve her own problem?  No.  Yet, she does not think twice about pointing a finger at us, screaming "take care of me now" the moment she is off the board.  I tell you, I have seen five-year olds act more responsibly. 

Why, may I ask, do so many people focus on "what can you/should you/must you do for me" rather than "what can I do for myself?  When did personal responsibility and accountability become such a scarce commodity?  More importantly, how has this attitude of entitlement become so pervasive?  More and more, this conduct and attitude seems to be the rule, rather than the exception.  Folks just seem to want to blame others for their lot in life, without taking any personal responsibility for their situation.  I am the first to admit that circumstances often limit one's choices and opportunities.  And, some people need help to extricate themselves for circumstances, to expand their opportunities and to have a chance at a better life.  But, ultimately, responsibility begins with each individual, and not with some other person, association, government, insurance company, or county facility giving you what you need to survive.

When originally writing this Rant, I was focusing on the entitlement mentality in the Black Community.  This Rant started as a condemnation of the politics of victimization: certain group telling others, or being told by others, that they are owed something, and before they need to do anything, the debt has to first be paid.  But, as I thought about it, this mentality is pervasive across the board in every area, every community, every race and every religion.  It is evidenced by the person who cheats on his taxes because he thinks he pays too much; the woman who keeps the extra change given in error; the man in an automobile accident who immediately starts calculating how much money can he or she get before even considering whether or not he is really injured.  It is the family that pads a claim for property damage after an earthquake or hurricane because "it won't hurt anyone;" it is the woman who was so stupid that she put hot coffee in her lap while driving and then sued McDonalds when she got burned.  Everywhere I look, it seems like people look at a situation and only asks "what is in it for me" or "who is going to take care of me", rather than “how can I make things better for myself.”  People have to stop expecting others to be their wet nurse.  It is time for us to expect as much of ourselves as we expect of others.   

Things will never get better until people take back responsibility for their lives and the situations they find themselves in.  I was repeatedly told in grade school, "Life is Not Fair."  And, that is definitely true.   And, it sucks.  And, a lot of people need help.  But that does not mean that one should embrace the attitude of entitlement.  The more someone feels like they are entitled to get something for nothing, the more this attitude gets engrained into all of our collective psyches.  Personal accountability has morphed into blame-shifting coupled with a belief that everyone is owed a perpetual moral/economic/institutional IOU.  Life is not fair, life is not easy, and the human species is at best a work in progress.   Each of us must personal responsibility for our own actions for us as a species to truly evolve.  We are filled with potential that will never be realized so long as we continue to expect others to do what we should be doing for ourselves.  The way I see it, with the way things are going, Darwin was wrong:  the fit are no longer surviving, and the human species is no longer evolving.