December 1, 2003 - Season’s Greetings – Is that Cash, Check or Charge?

Well, the Holidays have descended upon us once again, and it is that time of year to be full of good cheer and goodwill towards mankind.  Umm, point of order, shouldn’t you be full of good cheer, or at least goodwill towards mankind all of the time?  Guess not.  I have never been a big fan of the Holiday Season – I kind of think it is like Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement – once a year you gather in Temple to ask forgiveness for your sins.  It seems once a year we momentarily give a damn about someone other than ourselves.  Pass the eggnog, will you, and add a little extra shot of Rum.

Maybe it is because I am Jewish, and I do not really feel that this is my holiday, that I just don’t get the whole big brouhaha that is the “Holiday Season.”  After all, despite what some of my Christian and Catholic friends have told me, Christmas is not my Holiday, and it is not an American holiday – it is, at its core, a celebration of the birth of Jesus.  Forgive me if I cannot get too excited over that.  Factor in that Hannukah is perhaps the most over-hyped holiday in the Jewish faith, and, well, things get even more awkward.  For those who don’t know, Hannukah has only become important once Christmas got so over-hyped.  We would not want all of those little Jewish children feeling even more left out of the gift-giving frenzy.  And, merchandisers can sell even more decorations.  We even get eight days of gifts to your measly little one day.  (That seven days of gifts are the equivalent of toothbrushes or underwear should not factor into the holiday gift giving bragging rights a bit).

When I was younger, I used to go to my grandparents’ house Christmas morning and devour my Grandma Ruth’s cooking.  My dad converted to Judaism, and during the holiday season, we got to be both Jewish, but at least feel like we were a part of the big day, even if it was all about Jesus – we just kind of ignored that fact because my Grandparents just left it out of the equation.  We would go to their house, gorge ourselves on food, including a dish called Panhaus, which is similar to Scrapple, and in my wisdom of age seems rather disgusting, but was delicious as a child, and open gifts around my Grandparents tree.  My Grandpa Charles died probably about 20 years ago, and my Grandma Ruth has been dead for over 10 years now.  Ever since my Grandma Ruth died, the “Holiday Season” has never been the same.  My folks have themselves believing that even without my Grandparents, that they are still somehow a part of the holiday, by continue the Panhaus tradition: every Christmas morning, a whole bunch of their Jewish friends come over to their house for a large heaping dose of Panhaus.  To, me, it is hilarious.  You see, the main ingredient in Panhaus is pork, so all of these Jews are getting together on Christmas morning to eat pork – it just makes me laugh.  Hey, I found a little holiday cheer.  How about that.

And, while I am not the most charitable person in the world, I do give a decent amount of change each year to various charities – but regardless of how generous I am during the year, it seems it is not enough come holiday time.  There is always some out of work Joe standing out in front of my grocery store, ringing a bell and asking that I dig a little deeper out of my greater guilt during the holiday season that I have food, clothing, and a nice home.  Well, I have food, clothing and a nice home in March just as much as I do in December, which makes me resent the guilt factor being laid on my shoulders each time I enter and exit the store, and I am already giving throughout the year.  Yet into my pocket I reach for change, and drop it into that bell ringing guilt laying red-dressed person’s bucket – hoping it goes to a needy person somewhere.

In years past, I used to try and get into the holiday spirit by making tons of cookies, and giving them away to friends and family.  I would bake hundreds of cookies, and dole them out like precious commodities to those deserving folks, and even a few undeserving ones.  But, soon, everyone started expecting them each year, and the fun of making them and giving them kind of wore out.  And I guess, that is what more core gripe about this season is – people expect you to be cheery, expect you to be merry, and expect you to get with the program, regardless of whether that program makes sense.  I really think that we have screwed up this whole holiday season thing.  The holiday gift-buying, food-binging, alcohol-consuming experience has turned into a competition among the merry, an ever-escalating mountain of gluttony and debt that somehow is supposed to supplant the feelings of greed, selfishness and envy that engulfs many of us during the rest of the year.  If the holiday season was really about who you are and what you do, rather than what you buy and how much you spend, them maybe I could muster up a little more enthusiasm and actually get with the program.

I don’t know, maybe it is just that this year has been very tough for me – a lot has gone on, and I cannot wait for 2004 to begin.  Factor in that my cat of almost 13 years has terminal cancer, I have gone through some pretty tough stuff, have had a falling out with a friend of over 25 years, have no one to kiss under the mistletoe, and I guess you get one big harrumph out of me.  But, there is hope.  Thanksgiving passed at my family’s house without a fight among me and me two sisters, which is in its own way, a miracle. My mom, who has been fighting serious illness for the past few years, is on the mend.  And, I recognize that for all of my ranting and ravings, I am truly blessed by the gifts of health, wealth and friendship that I have been given and experienced.  For these things I am truly thankful. 

So I will forge ahead with the holiday season, working my way up from disdain to cheer, and digging into my pockets every so often to put some money into that red bucket.  I will wish all Season’s Greeting and Happy Holidays, and send money into some fund that is buying gifts for children whose home has been robbed, or burned, or something else tragic.  And, I will hope that folks will realize that the season does not end in January.  There are people all over this country and planet that need our support and help year round.  So, do me one favor: mark your calendar for April, June and September 30^th.  On those days, spend some time giving holiday cheer and Season’s Greetings to someone in need.  Candy canes are optional, but compassion is a prerequisite.  If we all do just a little all year round, perhaps we would not feel the need to do so much come December.  Then, the holidays would be something to celebrate, and not just a passing thought.