July 25, 2003 – Try a Little Tenderness . . .

For the past couple of months I have used this web site to vent – talking about issues and opinions I think silly, dangerous, or just plain dumb.  For those who have known me a while, the views expressed on this site are too surprising.  When I was younger, I thought that getting involved in the political process was not only something we should all do, but something that we had an obligation to do:  a way each person could show that she makes a difference.  As I got older, much of my idealism faded, and like many others, I felt, that one person’s voice does not matter anyway.  Sure I voted, I got angry, I may have even sent money to those candidates I supported.    But, I didn’t really do anything.  I let my voice be silenced, thinking that one voice cannot be heard through the cascade of political noise we all have to listen to.  When I decided a couple of months ago to start ranting, it was because it was my right, and, I felt, my obligation to say or do something rather than just sit as a silent witness.  And guess what, while it is arguable whether I can make things any better, I know for sure that I am not making them worse.  And best of all, to date, John Ashcroft has not come a knocking on my door.  Well, ranting has been, and will continue to be, a core function of this web site.  But, for this rant, for today, I want to talk about something else, something more personal and in my mind, much more important.  This rant is a challenge to all who read it.  This week, I want you all to do something that should be second nature, but often is overlooked and, unfortunately, and afterthought in our daily lives. 

OK, ready . . . here it comes . . .  here’s what you gotta do . . . be kind to your fellow man.  It is as simple as that.  Treat other folks as you would like to be treated – with dignity, respect and kindness.  For all of the problems we have, the taxes, the scandals, the waste, the questionable wars, we have an even bigger problem no one wants to talk about – how we, as a people, are slowly but surely become less human, and less humane.  Slowly but surely, it seems that we are all becoming increasingly desensitized to the feelings of others – becoming dehumanized, isolated, resentful.    Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like our collective humanity is slowly drowning in a sea of insults, perceived injustices, anger and isolation.  We are so busy focusing on our own problems, our own bad days, (while the truth is that most of us are more blessed than we even being to realize) that we forget to consider that others may be having just as bad a day.  Well, we have to stop walking around each other, and instead, take the time to look each other in the eye and acknowledge our mutual existence:  like it or not, we are all in the same boat together, and together we will either sink or float. 

I am as guilty (and sometimes, more guilty) as the next person in taking things for granted, discounting the feelings of others, focusing on my narrow little world, and in general, thinking my shit don’t stink.  Well guess what, my shit does stinks, your shit stinks, hell everyone’s shit stinks.   That is the point, whether your are stuck working for minimum wage at some job you hate, looking for a job, or occupying the penthouse in a downtown skyscraper, we are all basically the same.  It is just that some folks have more opportunities, more ambition, more education or more chances than other people do.  While it may not be right, unfortunately, life is not fair.  That, however, does not mean that it is OK to treat folks badly, or presume that anyone is entitled to treat another person poorly. 

When push comes to shove, underneath it all, you, me, and just about everyone I know are all the same, trying to navigate through a very confusing world as best as we can.  At some point in time, everyone feels demeaned, belittled, powerless and angry.  And, everyone needs compassion once in a while.  We all have the capacity to make this world a better place by simply treating others with a little TLC.  I am a firm believer in what comes around goes around, and it is time we all started spreading something good.    

So, call this rant my request for your Random Acts of Kindness.  Take a moment to think before you speak, honk, bitch, curse or complain.  Say thank you when someone does something for you, and mean it.  Buy someone who is homeless and hungry something to eat.  Smile at someone you don’t know.   Say good morning to someone in the elevator.  Really listen to what someone else says.  Tell your parents or your children that you love them.   Call a teacher who made a difference in your life and tell them thank you.  Do something for someone else, and do it because it is the right thing to do, because it is what makes us human and humane.  Do it, and trust me, you will feel better, and for a moment in time, you will have made this world a better place. Ranting is easy, taking a second to stop, think and be thankful, now that is the real challenge.